Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
