so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Randomize
