Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
