y did u give ur computer a hand job?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
