Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
