hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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