I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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