Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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