Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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