Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's never too late to be topless.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
