We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
