What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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