i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
