Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
