it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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