there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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