Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
