This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
