Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
