I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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