Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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