is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
