To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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