therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
