I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Congratulations! We have a period
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize