Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
