Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I will be naked everywhere
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
