I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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