The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
how drunk are you?
Several
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
