i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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