Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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