do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize