Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
