matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize