so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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