God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
