Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
