Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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