DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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