I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize