i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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