you guys were way drunker than both of me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
