Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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