I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
