Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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