Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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