So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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