addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
