I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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