a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
They have beer where we have blood.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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