woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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