She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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