We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
