We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
