i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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