I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
