I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
