I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize