You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
